Operation Trash Bag
July 20, 2002

This fine Saturday nearly a dozen hearty militia individuals participated in a new endeavor to the Militia cause, namely the Adopt-A-Highway program. This program allows ordinary citizens an opportunity to help maintain the cleanliness of the freeways and thereby help limit accidents or injuries that may be caused by the presence of excessive or dangerous objects near the route of travel, while also improving the overall appearance of the roadway.

Our designated section currently consists of the two-mile stretch between Joy Road and 21 Mile Road along I-94, right near the base entrance for Selfridge. This section was previously adopted by National Guard troops assigned to the base, but since their duties have been so greatly increased after recent events, MM took action to maintain this section of roadway. It is also notable that this particular location was selected due to it's close association with our military units, as well as the visual appeal which results from the numerous deer and other wildlife in the area.

After arriving at the farm promptly at 0900 as instructed, I proceeded to wait while the rest of the team arrived... After some discussion with arriving personnel, I found out that SOMEBODY had advised we would be starting at 1000... Oh well...

Most everybody was fairly well equipped for the occasion, with plenty of water to go around. Several coolers full of bottled water, and many had their camelbacks and canteens full up. Sunscreen was liberally applied by most, sleeves were rolled up, gloves and orange vests issued, and we were ready to go. One very late observation was that some "pick-up sticks" could certainly have been used (even simply a stick with a nail in the end) in order to avoid all the bending down to pick up paper, but since no materials were readily available to construct these on-the-spot, we headed out without them.

We started the operation by locating the vehicles on the eastbound shoulder near the Joy overpass. Everybody was issued a bag, they put on their hats for further sun protection, and away we go. Initially, the entire unit formed a line with about five feet between people, from the embankment up to the roadway fencing. While proceeding along the direction of travel of the road, we picked-up anything in our area, like license plates, tire debris, papers, wrappers, maps, flags, or anything else that wouldn't simply break-down on it's own. We didn't pick up any dead birds, although for some reason this area seemed to be thickly littered with their corpses...

After a short distance, we realized that some areas of the line moved inherently faster or slower, since they simply contained more or less trash, like right along the roadway, or at the intersection of the long grass and the short-mowed stuff (more). So we just sort of milled along, concentrating on the heavily-littered areas, more-or-less as a "skirmish" line along the roadway.

After about 1/2 mile, the road right-of-way narrowed up somewhat, creating somewhat of a worker overload in the area. More than half of the group then proceeded to go up to the other end of the zone and work back in our direction, on the westbound side from 21 Mile Road down. We split up the bags (we got a big box from MDOT), moved the vehicles, and got going again (I was with the eastbound group).

The weather was hot (around 85*) with full sun, but there was a fair breeze blowing to help cool everybody off. All the bending over to pick up paper was starting to add up on our collective back strain, but several guys made some "field expedient" paper pickups... One was simply an aluminum tent-pole with a sharpened end. Somewhat dull, and didn't tend to pick up much, since the pole mostly pushed small paper items into the ground rather than picking them up, but nonetheless very helpful. The other was much more creative, all from found materials... Some strong stainless tubing for a shaft, a bent fork for a pickup device, and a rubber bungee for a carry handle made for a great back saver. The addition of a counterweight (a tire iron) to the back end even provided for some needed counterbalance, but in the end it was discarded in favor of lighter overall weight. Eventually the fork dulled substantially such that it's usefulness was limited, but a great use of available materials to my mind...

By 1530, we had exhausted our entire supply of bags (100). Considering the size of the bags, and the general weight of each when filled, you could fairly assume that each bag weighed on average of 20 lbs (some less by many MUCH more). By this count, we collected approximately 1 TON of trash from this section of the highway! In the end, the eastbound team completed about one mile (just short of the hall road exit ramp) while the westbound team actually completed about 1.3 miles.

Thanks for all of the help from our units, and may we continue to provide the true "homeland defense" just as the framers of the Constitution always intended!

Deuce out